Just blowing off some steam...

I've been having a lot of trouble lately dealing with life in general. I'm restless, on edge, easily led to feelings of being burnt down and as fragile as a moth's wing. I try to paint, take photos, write in my journal, talk with my only friend, but nothing helps. I'm struggling...really and truly struggling to even get out of bed in the morning. Most days I end up sitting here, staring out at space and feeling disgruntled.  This probably stems from the fact that I'm bipolar and not taking my medication properly, but somehow it feels like it's more than that. It's a general dissatisfaction with the way I'm living my life, with the course I seem hell-bent on trudging down. And believe me, I know what you're gonna say...well change it then, but it's not as easy as it sounds. You see I'm a military wife and I'm tired of military life. I am so proud of my husband for having served his country this long...it just wears you down to be so far from your family and to rarely get the opportunity to be close to the ones you love most. My nieces and nephews are all growing up fast and we're forced to miss out on all their special moments. And last year, when my niece passed and we were denied leave to go be with my sister and family for the funeral...it tore a piece of me out that I don't think will ever fully heal. On top of all this, I'm truly struggling with trying to figure out what I believe in. My parents raised me in a very Christian home, but I never really felt the kind of connection that others claim to have to God. It's not exactly that I don't believe in Him...I just don't know how I feel about Him. I guess if I were to be completely honest with myself, I'm agnostic. Where my struggle mostly lies is with how my family will try to make me feel if I admit the truth to them. Don't get me wrong...I know for a fact that they won't stop loving me, but well...they are definitely going to disapprove...strenuously!

I guess the whole point of this post has been mostly to just blow off some steam and to get some perspective on where I'm leaning on things. I am grateful to be alive and to have my husband and our two dogs...I just need to figure out how to make more of life.

So, I did it again...lost my password and had to start all over. I finally found it...obviously, but have been writing my new blog over athttp://lifescherryontop.blogspot.com/ Please feel free to pop on over there and visit anytime.

I Remembered!

So I finally managed to figure out my password for my gmail account and I'm back! YaY! More later! Good night all!

The Great Deluge of 2009

It has been raining here, non-stop, for the past 36 to 48 hours and to say the least it is starting to cause some major issues. The dear husband was actually sent home early today because of fears of flooding and in fact he just managed to make it home before they closed the roadway on which he commutes. Last night the wind was roaring, the rain was spattering against my windows, knocking things over, blowing things away, making things go bump in the night...I don't think the dogs or I slept for longer than 10 minute stretches at a time. We aren't supposed to have any respite from this drenching downpour, till at least tomorrow morning(if we're lucky). I confess I am a bit worried and here's why:

So if you have any thoughts and prayers to offer out there, we sure could use them! For now though, the dear husband and I will snuggle close to our puppies, be thankful we haven't yet lost electric power,

Munch our home-made scones,And enjoy our lovely tea.

Here's hoping our house is part houseboat!!!LOL!

A list of sweeps....

Inspired by today's post over at http://joannedemaio.blogspot.com/, I decided to make a visual list of some of the people and things that sweep me off my feet.....

Alright, I know it was pretty obvious but my husband can definitely make me swoon any day!It is so easy for me to be caught up in anything dealing with ancient history and humanityThere is so much beauty in the natural world that I honestly think it takes a hard-hearted person not to be able to be touched by it.Do I even need to say anything???I have been in love with the ballet since I was in the 4th grade and got to attend the Nutcracker. Such grace and beauty are hard not to become lost in...Let me just state that it is my personal opinion that Billie Holiday is one of the finest singers to ever open her mouth. That woman's voice knows how to creep down in your bones and send your head to spinning!And last but not least...that's right...I went there...chocolate! I mean come on...not to detract from anything....but seriously, sometimes the right piece of chocolate can be a near religious experience!

So what are some of the things that sweep you off your feet??

A simple Thank-you

I wish to say thank-you to all who have so bravely served our country and also to their families who have been there with all the love and support that they can provide for our troops!

Something to think about....

An acquaintance of mine recently made a facebook post that caught my attention and got me to thinking. The issue being discussed between said acquaintance and his friends was their" horror, fright, and disbelief" over the fact that Mr. Glenn Beck's newest book has become the #1 non-fiction-bestseller in the Country. Comments promptly headed into the territory of derogatory name calling and the belittlement of the intellectual capacity of anyone agreeing with him( I believe references were made along the lines of surprise that "those people" could actually read and of their being anti-intellectual). Now whether or not you agree with Mr. Beck is another matter all together, but what I find most bothering about this whole issue is the fact that the aforementioned author of the post and his friends have to stoop to disparaging the mental capacity of anyone that simply doesn't agree with their views. I thought a true sign of an intellectual being was one of tolerance and willingness to agree to disagree. I know it happens on both sides and I'm not trying to make it out as if their the only ones underrating other people, but it's wrong for anyone to clump a set of people together and stamp them with your overly-biased judgement. I know that I have been guilty of doing that in the past and believe me, I've had crow to eat over it, but really...are we a bunch of 8 year olds on the playground calling each other names simply because we don't agree on all the issues? Whatever happened to that thing so much called on but rarely enacted upon, known as intelligent debate? And guess what...just because someone doesn't view things the same way you do...doesn't make them any less capable or prone to idiocy. It just means their different and isn't difference something we're all supposed to celebrate?!