I spend a good deal of time in thought and much of that, in thinking about my family. I was thinking the other day about the values, ideals, and beliefs they try to instill in you, when you are a child and whether or not you choose to continue in that vein. When I was growing up, my father spent a good deal of my life being a minister. Our family went to church everytime the doors were open and we were taught what God expects of us and how we are supposed to live our lives. I never really felt the kind of faith that was so evident in my father though, and as I've gotten older it has definitely led to questions in what I believe. My grandmother herself has faith that knows no bounds...and to tell the truth I envy that. Yet, it isn't just faith that I differ on in terms of my family. When I got my tongue and nose pierced, it was, " what are you thinking???" and when I got my tattoo it was..." you've lost your damn mind!" But to me...it was just something I've always wanted to do. There are even certain aspects of myself that I know that I couldn't share with my family. It never fails to surprise me how I am always tiptoeing around my family...trying to not disillusion them. I often feel like I have to be almost a whole different person around them and that's probably why my husband and I don't spend that much time with them. It saddens me really because no matter what, they are my family and I love them to death. I just wish they could be more open-minded and more understanding. However, I know that it is my life to live and whatever I choose to believe or not believe...whatever path I take or don't...whomever I choose to love or not...as long as I find fulfillment and contentment, that's all that matters. Now if I could only really believe that....