Monday, January 26, 2009

A love letter to my mother

Last night, I sat down and wrote a rather passionate letter to my mother. She and I have never been that close and it is something that, upon much reflection, brings a great deal of dissatisfaction to me. While I was growing up, if you'll forgive the cliche, we were like oil and water...we definitely didn't mix! I'd always taken more of a fancy to my dad and she knew it and felt snubbed somehow. It was never that I didn't love my mother, we were just two totally different people on two entirely different planes. There was a lot about my mother, I've never really understood and quite frankly, I don't know if I ever will. Things between us, did not get any better by my parents divorce. Even though I was almost the age of being a legal adult,when they seperated, I chose to live with my father and helped him to win custody of my baby sister. Believe me, that didn't win me any brownie points. I had several reasons for doing what I did, and though I won't go into all the details, suffice it to say, it was mostly because my mother, who'd always been somewhat of a stranger to me had suddenly become a total alien. The next few years we barely spoke, but slowly and surely we've tried to rebuild some kind of relationship. I realized though, the other night, that I honestly don't know all that much about my mother and she doesn't know that much about me. It's something that I do want to change, hence why I wrote the letter. I asked simple questions about the little things and tried to give her some insights into what makes me tick. From my obsession with women authors, my love of Russian literature, my favorite artists and colors, music, guilty pleasures(yes, I must confess I do like some reality-TV shows),my love of british comedy, to the most mundane of things, my favorite candy(happens to be Turkish Delight). I tried to instill the letter with the essence of who I am and it is my fondest hope that she'll do the same. I want to get to know my mother better, want us to be friends...good friends. After all you only have one mother.

No comments: