Sunday, January 11, 2009

Today has been one of those days when you question everything you know. You sit there and ponder what is the point of life and living. Somehow, you just can't seem to help but feel it might all be just a bit pointless and you are left wondering if every thought...every action...every breath is just futile. But, where does all this come from?? I guess I would have to say it's from that ever "wonderful" questing into what you want from life and where you are now. When you realize that two years from the beginning of this " I'm going to change my life bit", you are right back where you were when you started it and it all seems like some vicious joke. You wake up and realize that you're still letting your fears control every single microscopic bit of your life, and you still don't see a way around them. Any progress you've made has not only been impeded, but in fact you've regressed so very isn't even funny! It makes you begin to lose hope...lose your faith. And let's face it...when you start to lose those two things...what do you have left?? You're so tired of getting up and dusting yourself off and pushing forward. You know that life isn't supposed to be easy...wouldn't exactly want it to be...but is asking for some help...some kind of guidance too much to ask for? Instead you feel like you're left adrift...floundering through a sea of lost direction and guess forgot your paddle in your other boat! Way to go winner! Let's give the joker here a nice round of applause! So in the end, you still don't have any answers...and you don't know if you ever will!

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